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Re: Online Communities = Support vs. Enabling

glenmar — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 23:22:56 GMT

And would you ladies like nus or no nuts? Assuming of course you'd like to have the hypothethical bong passed.....or not. Brownies are good anytime of day.

Re: Online Communities = Support vs. Enabling

Angelique — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 23:05:21 GMT

Mine smells like Spam.

Re: Online Communities = Support vs. Enabling

Chuffy — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 23:03:18 GMT

glenmar:
What's that old line about opinions being like, erm, backdoor exits? Something about everyone has one but not everyone should share them?

Everyone has got one and they often stink

Re: Online Communities = Support vs. Enabling

glenmar — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 22:30:18 GMT

Yep, that's a place for sure that nuts don't belong. There and in ice cream.....

Re: Online Communities = Support vs. Enabling

spiritdogs — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 18:11:10 GMT

glenmar:
What's that old line about opinions being like, erm, backdoor exits? Something about everyone has one but not everyone should share them?

Well, I'll share mine. No nuts with my brownies, please...

Re: Online Communities = Support vs. Enabling

glenmar — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 16:08:28 GMT

What's that old line about opinions being like, erm, backdoor exits? Something about everyone has one but not everyone should share them?

Re: Online Communities = Support vs. Enabling

JackieG — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 14:09:25 GMT

rwbeagles:
Hmm...the best thing about the net is that there are so many varied forums to join and heck, people can even start new ones whenever they like. Then you can go to other forums, to point out that you are starting your forum, lol...

So true, Gina. lol And when you already have ALL the answers, why not start your own forum? That way you don't have to really learn anything about how to get along with others.

Re: Online Communities = Support vs. Enabling

Chuffy — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 13:43:54 GMT

lynnsmith:
I am defending the right to state one's opinion even if it is not popular.

Well - you're ugly.

Wait - before the red ink comes out - that's my opinion, is it not? And it should be unquestioned right to state my opinion, even if it is unpopular (even if, in some cases, it might only be unpopular with one person, that being the person it is directed at).

So we can see, from this very simple example that, no, not all opinions should be stated. It is usually common sense which opinions are ones that need to be worded with care and which should simply be kept to yourself. If in doubt, consider: is this opinion hurtful? And if it is, or if it might be - is it also HELPFUL, or will it just get their back up to no good end?

If you need lessons in this, look out for posts by calliecritturs. By gum but she has a knack, doesn't she? She can tackle an issue that is difficult and say something to the poster which could be very hard to hear indeed - but because she takes time, and care and a great deal of thought in her approach, the person is not only not-offended they often THANK her for the insight.

Think - will the person THANK me for my opinion/advice? If not - how can I word it so they will? And if I can't, then does this opinion really need to be voiced?

Sometimes we all need leesons in "nice".

Re: Online Communities = Support vs. Enabling

rwbeagles — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 00:27:06 GMT

Hmm...the best thing about the net is that there are so many varied forums to join and heck, people can even start new ones whenever they like. Then you can go to other forums, to point out that you are starting your forum, lol...

Yep yep, tact...rules are rules and that's really all it boils down to as has been stated, repeatedly...break the rules and you get edited...find a way to say what you feel needs saying within the bounds of whatever rules exist and you're fine and dandy.

Re: Online Communities = Support vs. Enabling

glenmar — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 17:31:33 GMT

I think that you are missing the point that we CAN post our honest thoughts, but we need to think and speak carefully, with respect for one anothers situations AND feelings and not just blurt out "you're a dumb ***"

The more tactful among us, which doesn't always include me, know how to say what needs to be said, in a way that will actually be heard.

Re: Online Communities = Support vs. Enabling

lynnsmith — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 17:25:47 GMT

Loves your quotes. I love kids, dog and other animals - isn't our job as a society to look out for those weaker? I asked if I can delete my posting here because there is no point. I am creating my own forum that is for action-oriented individuals on another topic more serious topic area but it sure was interesting to see how people responded here.

Take care,

Lynn

Re: Online Communities = Support vs. Enabling

Angelique — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 17:15:08 GMT

lynnsmith:

Yes, I understand. However, not all forums are about general topics and some do involve topics that have to do with actions that could lead to injury or harm or even death to others. I guess nothing ever happens in this forum that could be injurious to anyone or anything and everyone agrees. That is good.

Sure things happen that lead to injury or harm to others through enabling, denial, personnal motivation and agendas on dog boards.

I watched in horror on another board when the advice of the wrong method for the wrong dog and the support of an owner's denial by a bunch of "crusaders" directly lead to a child being bitten in the face. Red flags everywhere before it happened. I got attacked for speaking up because it wasn't what the owner and her enablers wanted to hear.

I don't post a whole lot, but I've done a lot of comparative reading on the dog boards these past five years as to what often leads to successes, failures, and tragedies. I could write a book...

Yep, kids get bitten and dogs get put down all of the time through bad forum advice and the support of owner denial. And, most of the time I see it coming after only reading a few of the owner's posts, and the responses.

Re: Online Communities = Support vs. Enabling

lynnsmith — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 17:13:46 GMT

Re: Online Communities = Support vs. Enabling

Truley — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 16:55:28 GMT

IMO, this thread was started because the OP was corrected and felt that they should not have been. It was never about supporting or enabling. They didn't feel the correction was fair. I wonder if they thought what they said was fair to that person? My guess is they didn't really care about the other persons feelings, but theirs sure mattered when they were hurt.

This forum has rules, and we have to abide by them, both good and bad, is it always fair? no, but you take a chance when you touch the keyboard and sprout out how you really feel. Just because you can say it, does not mean you have the right to.

I always feel that people who get so offended when corrected on using bad language, or baiting or taking their own feelings to a forum are projecting it from their own real life situations or just like drama. I have to wonder how many would actually say what they say here to someone face to face. If you won't do it to your neighbor, why oh why would you do it here? Oh yeah, no consequences and no responsibility.

There is nothing in the rules that say all manners need to be left at the door. People who post bitter, biting posts here IMO are bitter angry people in real life. I can say that because I am not saying it to someone directly, and I avoid those people, because there is nothing I can do personally to change that attitude.

The fact is that here or any other forum, unless you know that person in real life, you don't know a dang thing about them but what they have told you. People lie. People exaggerate. People troll. Most people are honest, but not all.

And for the record, I have been nasty a few times when I let my temper get the better of me, but I finally learned to just walk away and come back when I am calmer.

Re: Online Communities = Support vs. Enabling

lynnsmith — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 16:10:50 GMT