Did I take this too far??

• 07-17-2009 4:11 PM

  BlackLabbie Joined on 01-28-2008 South of Boston Posts 3,380 Points 280

  Did I take this too far?? Reply Contact My 11 year old brother caught a Garter Snake. It was a baby, about 6 inches long. After 2 days of keeping it in a 10 gallon aquarium (that I gave him) I told him, "Joe, I think he misses his family. Time to let him go." His reply was a very firm, "NO" and he shot me a nasty look. I was a little taken back because usually my brother is a nice, friendly, easy going kid. We get along very, very well. So, I said, "Joey, c'mon, you know you have to let it go. If you don't it'll just die and I know you don't want that to happen. C'mon, lets let him go together." He said, "No! I don't really care if it dies actually. Who cares?" This is not like my brother at all! So, I said "That's it. Let the snake go or I'm taking the tank back. I gave it to you for fish, not this. You know that." He just sat on the couch, ignoring me. So, I went into his room, picked up the poor little snake and released it in the back yard. My brother then (after realizing what I did) threw a MAJOR temper tantrum- yelling, crying, screaming! WTH!?!? I asked him where the rest of the tank was (the light cover, filter, plants, etc) he THREW it in the yard breaking the light! That was hell to clean; a floursent light bulb, busted on grass! My Mom came out after hearing that and yelled......AT ME! It made me feel like I was 12 again! She said, "Boys are boys. Let him have the snake, who cares if it dies anyway? There's a million of them, and they're gross." So, at this point I'm shocked (at my brother and Mom) and pissed (at their attitude). I took the tank (filled with dirt, rocks, and grass) home, washed it out, and put it away. I'm never giving my brother anything like that again! I felt very responsible, and I don't want to see any animal die just because. My question....I didn't lose my cool (I didn't yell or anything), but did I take this too far? Should I have just let the snake go and left the tank? I didn't want something like this happening again. He was supposed to get a few fish for it, anyway. -Stephanie Apollo- black Labrador Retriever Molson- buff American Cocker Spaniel Patty- black American Cocker Spaniel "Q: If you could choose what to come back as, what would it be? A: A dog, so my wife would love me more." -Oscar De La Renta

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• 07-17-2009 4:24 PM

  In reply to BlackLabbie

  Truley Joined on 08-27-2006 Louisville, Ky Posts 2,570 Points 190	Re: Did I take this too far?? Reply Contact IMO? nope. The WITCH is dancing around the bonfire.
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• 07-17-2009 4:25 PM

  In reply to BlackLabbie

  sharismom Joined on 09-10-2007 mid-Michigan Posts 3,788 Points 30

  Re: Did I take this too far?? Reply Contact I'd have done the same thing.  Boys will be boys is a cop-out excuse.  Boundaries and respect for other life is important whether we think the life is gross or not.  The snake didn't ask to be caught and taken inside.  If your brother wanted to keep it as some sort of pet, then he should have been prepared for the responsibility.  I think this is the essence of what you were telling him and it's not a bad thing. Tina

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• 07-17-2009 4:29 PM

  In reply to sharismom

  BlackLabbie Joined on 01-28-2008 South of Boston Posts 3,380 Points 280

  Re: Did I take this too far?? Reply Contact sharismom: If your brother wanted to keep it as some sort of pet, then he should have been prepared for the responsibility. The thing is, he only had some dry dirt, dead grass, and a few (small, flat) rocks in there! The snake was coiled up in the corner of the tank. I don't know anything about snakes- how often they eat, drink, need light for heat- but I'm pretty sure that snake wouldn't survive in those conditions for long. -Stephanie Apollo- black Labrador Retriever Molson- buff American Cocker Spaniel Patty- black American Cocker Spaniel "Q: If you could choose what to come back as, what would it be? A: A dog, so my wife would love me more." -Oscar De La Renta

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• 07-17-2009 4:34 PM

  In reply to BlackLabbie

  rwbeagles Joined on 09-10-2007 DFW, TX Posts 18,884 Points 2,200

  Re: Did I take this too far?? Reply Contact Zig says thank you very much for releasing the snake. It was the right thing to do. They can live such a long time in the proper surroundings and that was not proper for many reasons. Let alone if/what it was being fed. Gina H. aka "Tellingmewhattodoperson" Happy St. Paddy's Day, all! Cleo's Blog: lionessrampantblog.blogspot.com/ My blog: ryngwrayth.blogspot.com/

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• 07-17-2009 4:46 PM

  In reply to rwbeagles

  Cita Joined on 12-13-2006 CT Posts 5,905 Points 845

  Re: Did I take this too far?? Reply Contact  Yeah, you totally did the right thing. I was guilty of capturing wild animals and keeping them as pets when I was a kid, but I always always always did my best to care for them. Like using my own money to buy crickets in the store to feed to my pet frog, or to the lizards I would catch at my grandparents' house in Florida. Letting it die "just because" is, to me, just so incredibly wrong... I think you showed an admirable amount of restraint, personally.

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• 07-17-2009 5:08 PM

  In reply to BlackLabbie

  Angelique Joined on 10-04-2006 Posts 1,339 Points 200

  Re: Did I take this too far?? Reply Contact I'm glad you let the snake go and took the tank back. If he's that apathetic about letting a snake slowly starve to death, what makes you think he would remember to feed a few fish or keep the tank clean? Keeping an aquarium system healthy and functioning is probably too much for him to deal with. I hope he grows up and gains some compassion along the way. "Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds" Albert Einstein "There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the bank looking stupid"

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• 07-17-2009 5:25 PM

  In reply to Angelique

  JackieG Joined on 04-15-2008 Central Texas Posts 7,200 Points 705

  Re: Did I take this too far?? Reply Contact Lots of people don't think that certain animals deserve the compassion or care that the cute, furry mammals receive.  Of course you did the right thing and Joe may need a little education from you once he's gotten over being mad at you.  Little stinker.  Gina's gonna send Cleo after him if he doesn't straighten up. lol  She'll lick him till he becomes a believer.

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• 07-17-2009 5:31 PM

  In reply to JackieG

  BlackLabbie Joined on 01-28-2008 South of Boston Posts 3,380 Points 280

  Re: Did I take this too far?? Reply Contact JackieG: Of course you did the right thing and Joe may need a little education from you once he's gotten over being mad at you.  Little stinker. ....I hate when he's mad at me, too! Since I'm not his parent- but I'm 13 years older than him- I like being the "cool older sister"! DH thinks Joe will be over it by tonight if not sooner, but IDK. I've never seen him get that mad at me before! -Stephanie Apollo- black Labrador Retriever Molson- buff American Cocker Spaniel Patty- black American Cocker Spaniel "Q: If you could choose what to come back as, what would it be? A: A dog, so my wife would love me more." -Oscar De La Renta

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• 07-17-2009 6:42 PM

  In reply to BlackLabbie

  calliecritturs Joined on 09-10-2007 Central Florida Posts 11,978 Points 3,770

  Re: Did I take this too far?? Reply Contact BlackLabbie: ....I hate when he's mad at me, too! Since I'm not his parent- but I'm 13 years older than him- I like being the "cool older sister"! DH thinks Joe will be over it by tonight if not sooner, but IDK. I've never seen him get that mad at me before! In *my* opinion he crossed an invisible line when he said he didn't care if it died.  Coupled with this -- I'd have to wonder, 13 or not, if something ELSE is going on.  when he chills I'd try to talk to him.  HE threw the temper tantrum.  HE broke what was yours after you only expressed caring for a living thing.  I'd look him dead in the eye and I'd say something like "You know what Bucko -- you scared me.  Because I saw something in you at that moment that I didn't think was part of you.  Apathy?  For a living thing?  Look around you ... I have THREE dogs -- because we're compassionate and gave Patty and Molson a home when no one else wanted them.  And how do they repay us?  With love.  Apollo too -- did HE get mad having to share space?  Nope.they are living things.  Would it be ok if you had to go stay somewhere else and the people just put YOU in a corner with no food, no water, nothing to slee on?  And if you asked to go home they said "We don't care if you die?" -- very similar buddy.  Because YOU picked him up -- he didn't walk into that acquarium on his own.  YOU kidnapped ... snake-napped HIM and gave him NO choice.  Is that, by any definition of life, RIGHT? Where did MY brother go?  The one I always have such a great time with -- the guy who is always so easy to have fun with.  What's up buddy?  Can you tell me?  You're not just mad about the snake.  You're REAL mad about something else??" Don't try to shame him -- try to understand why he's suddenly so apathetic.  Then while you're at it, I'd find out if he's got a change in friends, a change in attitude, if he's starting to be with drawn ... cos that, my friends, sound to ME like a boy on the edge of trouble.  And to answer your title queston -- NO, you didn't take it too far, but your mother is on her way to trouble. He may just be mimicking her ... but my guess is she was trying to score points with HIM by taking you on.  Trouble there. "The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart." Helen Keller

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• 07-17-2009 7:02 PM

  In reply to calliecritturs

  Calinisima Joined on 12-05-2007 AB-Canada Posts 2,295 Points 360

  Re: Did I take this too far?? Reply Contact Callie's advice is so good... I think you should do the talk right like that. Two things I can add: your brother is 12, lots of changes happening for him. Your mom, well maybe she has been dealing with your brother and his mood changes, so she is tired of the struggle (that happened with my mom and dad with my brother). You did good, if there is nobody else to give your brother an example, you have to do it and it's never good to let a living thing die just because. You are right in this one, don't forget.

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• 07-17-2009 8:03 PM

  In reply to Calinisima

  huskymom Joined on 09-10-2007 Dryden ON Posts 7,946 Points 605

  Re: Did I take this too far?? Reply Contact  I agree 100% with what everyone else has said.  I would like to make a couple suggestions, if I may. First of all, is there an aquarium or zoo anywhere near you, that you could take him to, to see snakes in captivity?  Perhaps get him to talk to a zookeeper and ask questions about keeping a snake as a pet?  Even just a pet store, where someone cares enough to answer a boys questions?  If you can, sit him down(once he's cooled off of course) and make up a list of things to find out about snakes. Kale has really been into the internet lately and its full of information on things like that.  Maybe the two of you could do some research together.  The lack of feeling for the snake, from a boy who is normally caring about other creatures, says ignorance to me, not so much intentional apathy.  If that makes sense.  He needs to learn that these creatures are living breathing feeling things, with a life cycle and potential. There must be snake forums that you and he could visit together. Even if you could get him a book on snake care.  Something with lots of pictures and easy to understand facts.   I really believe that the "I don't care!" comments are not so much about not caring as about,"Don't take that, that's mine!"   That is an age thing, I believe.  Not a cue that he's heading down a slippery slope to heartlessness.  He'll be ok. Jezabel

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• 07-17-2009 8:24 PM

  In reply to calliecritturs

  BlackLabbie Joined on 01-28-2008 South of Boston Posts 3,380 Points 280

  Re: Did I take this too far?? Reply Contact calliecritturs: ... but my guess is she was trying to score points with HIM by taking you on.  Trouble there. Ohhh, I totally agree with you there! She's being doing this w/ me and my Dad! Drives us both crazy! -Stephanie Apollo- black Labrador Retriever Molson- buff American Cocker Spaniel Patty- black American Cocker Spaniel "Q: If you could choose what to come back as, what would it be? A: A dog, so my wife would love me more." -Oscar De La Renta

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• 07-17-2009 8:28 PM

  In reply to huskymom

  BlackLabbie Joined on 01-28-2008 South of Boston Posts 3,380 Points 280

  Re: Did I take this too far?? Reply Contact huskymom: I really believe that the "I don't care!" comments are not so much about not caring as about,"Don't take that, that's mine!"   That is an age thing, I believe.  Not a cue that he's heading down a slippery slope to heartlessness.  He'll be ok. I think this sounds like him. He does care about living things, at least the pets we have; cats, dogs, and a rabbit. He's always been pretty good with them. Today was so out of the ordinary! The temper tantrum especially! He hasn't acted like that in years. I felt like I did something wrong. -Stephanie Apollo- black Labrador Retriever Molson- buff American Cocker Spaniel Patty- black American Cocker Spaniel "Q: If you could choose what to come back as, what would it be? A: A dog, so my wife would love me more." -Oscar De La Renta

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• 07-17-2009 8:50 PM

  In reply to BlackLabbie

  glenmar Joined on 09-10-2007 The Florida Panhandle Posts 14,272 Points 430	Re: Did I take this too far?? Reply Contact OK, ya'll KNOW how I feel about snakes, but nope, you did NOT take this too far. A house without fur is not a home. Glenda ,
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