Outrageous!

• 10-20-2009 10:30 PM

  In reply to Luvntzus

  boneyjean Joined on 09-10-2007 FW, TX Posts 2,456 Points 30

  Re: Outrageous! Reply Contact When hubby and I got married we ended up paying for our own wedding.  I did everything on a budget and happened to find the dress of my dreams on the $99 rack at Bridesmart although I did have more budgeted for it.  When it came to the bridesmaids, I took them to Dillards and let them pick out their own dress.  There were only three of them so they just had to agree.  The dress they picked was $120 and I felt bad b/c I spent less on mine.  Thankfully, I was able to get all three of their dresses in their sizes at different locations, a few months later on clearance for $30 each.  We even got a free tux from the place where we rented them and ended up splitting it with one of the guys who was an usher but not actually in the wedding.    I think $300 is a little excessive, especially when she didn't even spend close to that on her own dress.  And $150 shoes on top of that!  Give me a freaking break!  I personally would be the type that might seriously consider telling them that I really just hadn't budgeted that much for the dress and shoes as well as travel and do my best to bow out gracefully and offer any assistance that you can in other areas...that is unless you really wanted to be in her wedding.  Plus, you will have to pay for whatever your hubby is wearing too which might be quite expensive as well.  And then there are travel expenses on top of that.  I have always been the type that is willing to make myself look bad (i.e, tell them I can't afford it) before spending an unreasonable amount on something I wasn't passionate about.  I wouldn't wait around too long though b/c if you do back out, you want to give her ample time to find a replacement and get their dress ordered.    ~Sarah, Harley & Izzy~ boneyjean.blogspot.com

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• 10-20-2009 10:36 PM

  In reply to boneyjean

  spiritdogs Joined on 09-10-2007 Posts 12,433 Points 1,045

  Re: Outrageous! Reply Contact Maybe I'm a jerk, but I think that if you expect people to wear a $300 dress, that they can never use again, to your wedding, especially if you know some people may not be as financially capable as you are, you should pay for the dresses.  Regional Director for Massachusetts, International Positive Dog Training Association Director, SeniorCare Pawsitive Connections Program AKC CGC Evaluator #3669 Therapy Dogs, Inc. Tester/Observer Sioux, CGC, TDInc. Maska, CGC, TDInc. Sequoyah, CGC Fergie, Retired Lap Dog, Age 20 1/2 Dancer, CGC, TDInc. (1989-2006) #1 Heart Dog In memory of Mike, please become an organ donor today. "If you talk to the animals they will talk with you and you will know each other. If you do not talk to them you will not know them and what you do not know, you will fear. What one fears, one destroys." - Chief Dan George "The fidelity of a dog is a precious gift demanding no less binding moral responsibilities than the friendship of a human being. The bond with a true dog is as lasting as the ties of this earth can ever be." ~ Konrad Lorenz

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• 10-20-2009 10:52 PM

  In reply to spiritdogs

  BlackLabbie Joined on 01-27-2008 South of Boston Posts 3,380 Points 280

  Re: Outrageous! Reply Contact spiritdogs:  especially if you know some people may not be as financially capable as you are Another thing is, DH and I make more than they do. They both work at Wal-Mart just as cashiers! I'm not knocking their job, but I don't know why they're trying to, like, put on a show for everyone (which is how I really feel). They're a very nice couple, normal everyday people who, I feel, are trying to look like they make 6 figure salaries. I would NEVER put myself into that much debt- EVER. Her dress is $200 less than mine because that what she could afford! Never mind the shoes!!!! -Stephanie Apollo- black Labrador Retriever Molson- buff American Cocker Spaniel Patty- black American Cocker Spaniel "Q: If you could choose what to come back as, what would it be? A: A dog, so my wife would love me more." -Oscar De La Renta

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• 10-20-2009 11:00 PM

  In reply to spiritdogs

  Cita Joined on 12-13-2006 CT Posts 5,905 Points 845	Re: Outrageous! Reply Contact spiritdogs: Maybe I'm a jerk, but I think that if you expect people to wear a $300 dress, that they can never use again, to your wedding, especially if you know some people may not be as financially capable as you are, you should pay for the dresses.    Yeah, I agree. At the very least, subsidize the darn thing. Are you going to ask guests to pay for their food, too?
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• 10-20-2009 11:16 PM

  In reply to Cita

  griffinej5 Joined on 09-10-2007 Pa Posts 3,237 Points 60

  Re: Outrageous! Reply Contact  I am going to be in a friend's wedding next year, which I need to start looking for a dress for sometime soonish. It's only me and one other friend who are going to be in it. She just told us what color, and said tea length. There is no way the other girl and I would look decent in the same dress. I am 4 or 6 inches taller than her, but I have horribly short legs. She is pretty flat chested, and I am definitely not. I am heavier than her, and I have more arm and leg muscle. We'd look pretty goofy in the same thing. I make more money than my friends do, but none of us make much, as we're all grad students. If someone asked me to put out all that money, even though I would hate to say no, I would probably have to say no. Emperor of the Markie Fan Club

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• 10-21-2009 12:09 AM

  In reply to Cita

  erica1989 Joined on 02-21-2007 Clearwater, Florida Posts 4,727 Points 505	Re: Outrageous! Reply Contact  to be honest... I never understood why the wedding party has to pay for their own dresses/shoes/suits... I'm just really glad that I LOVE my dress from my friends wedding - would be a good 'guest' dress for a summer wedding (I go to a lot of weddings... have another one this weekend!). I'll have to find a picture of it
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• 10-21-2009 12:23 AM

  In reply to erica1989

  willowchow Joined on 09-10-2007 Posts 8,722 Points 500	Re: Outrageous! Reply Contact My mom did pay for my bridesmaids dresses.  They just had to buy the shoes.  And, I gave them the jewelry to wear that day as a gift. My mom also paid for them all the get their hair done the morning of.
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• 10-21-2009 6:30 AM

  In reply to Liesje

  JackieG Joined on 04-15-2008 Central Texas Posts 7,192 Points 705

  Re: Outrageous! Reply Contact Another old fart chiming in to say I agree that going into debt for your wedding seems completely bonkers to me.  Hello.  I absolutely won't get on board with that type of wedding and have ticked off a few of my nieces who thought I should help them put on a wedding that is way beyond their means.  I hear young women complaining frequently about the expense involved in being asked to be in a friend's wedding.  I don't guess there is a good solution for you Steph because it's a friend of your DH.  I would adjust my spending on the wedding gift accordingly though.  DH and I got married on our lunch hour by a judge in his chambers and then we went back to work.  We were saving all our money for our honeymoon to Colorado.  I've never regretted that decision in 34 years.

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• 10-21-2009 9:14 AM

  In reply to JackieG

  sharismom Joined on 09-10-2007 mid-Michigan Posts 3,788 Points 30

  Re: Outrageous! Reply Contact I stood in one wedding as a bridesmaid and my friends' parents paid for it.  I bought my own shoes, but was not stuck with a certain brand, just told the style they needed to be.  My son was ringbearer in my bro's wedding and my bro paid the tux rental. I'm not a girly-girl and would never spend that type of money on a wedding.  I'd rather have a downpayment on a house. This is probably one of those times it's good I don't have too many friends - I don't get asked to do this kind of thing! Tina

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• 10-21-2009 9:36 AM

  In reply to sharismom

  BlackLabbie Joined on 01-27-2008 South of Boston Posts 3,380 Points 280

  Re: Outrageous! Reply Contact sharismom: I don't get asked to do this kind of thing! Lucky, lol! DH is in 4 weddings this year  ! And 2 he's the bestman! I'm only in this one. I keep telling him to 'just say no'.... -Stephanie Apollo- black Labrador Retriever Molson- buff American Cocker Spaniel Patty- black American Cocker Spaniel "Q: If you could choose what to come back as, what would it be? A: A dog, so my wife would love me more." -Oscar De La Renta

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• 10-21-2009 10:38 AM

  In reply to BlackLabbie

  .stacer. Joined on 06-03-2007 Ontario, Canada Posts 686 Points 10

  Re: Outrageous! Reply Contact I think that's pretty outrageous. I would never expect my bridesmaids to pay that much. I don't understand going into debt for a wedding either. We are lucky in that FH's parents are giving us a large amount of money towards the wedding, but even with that, I would much rather elope somewhere and spend the money on a honeymoon to Australia/New Zealand. I am trying to get fiance on board with that idea. LOL. Are the shoes at least shoes you could wear again? If they are then I don't think $150 is that crazy (short of) - I'd spend that on a good pair of shoes myself. I just think brides get too caught up in things and forget that it is not everyone else's wedding. Stacey.

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• 10-21-2009 10:46 AM

  In reply to .stacer.

  auburn2932 Joined on 09-13-2007 Camp Hill, PA Posts 448 Points 35	Re: Outrageous! Reply Contact Sorry, I would just call and tell them that we can not do it.   Bonnie Blue Belle April - Feb. 2, 2000 - Dec. 11 - 2007 If tears could build a stairway And memories a lane I'd walk right up to Heaven And bring you home again.
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• 10-21-2009 3:03 PM

  In reply to .stacer.

  BlackLabbie Joined on 01-27-2008 South of Boston Posts 3,380 Points 280

  Re: Outrageous! Reply Contact .stacer.: Are the shoes at least shoes you could wear again? If they are then I don't think $150 is that crazy (short of) - I'd spend that on a good pair of shoes myself. I just think brides get too caught up in things and forget that it is not everyone else's wedding. Not really, they match the dress . They're dark red, matching the dress, with a BIG bow on the front. -Stephanie Apollo- black Labrador Retriever Molson- buff American Cocker Spaniel Patty- black American Cocker Spaniel "Q: If you could choose what to come back as, what would it be? A: A dog, so my wife would love me more." -Oscar De La Renta

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• 10-21-2009 3:06 PM

  In reply to BlackLabbie

  miranadobe Joined on 04-06-2006 Purgatory Posts 6,607 Points 340

  Re: Outrageous! Reply Contact BlackLabbie: Not really, they match the dress . They're dark red, matching the dress, with a BIG bow on the front.  Now I want to see pictures... Paige - dog.community Moderator with Gracie - 6yr old Doberman Plus Patrick - 10yr old Akita mix & Henry - 5yr old BC mix "Never confuse education with intelligence." ~ RFD "Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky." "So you've 'had dogs all your life'? I've had teeth all my life. Doesn't make me a dentist." - JV McDonough, Certified Dog Trainer ~ www.fortunatek9.com ~ Fight for your opinions, but do not believe that they contain the whole truth, or the only truth. - Charles A. Dana

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• 10-21-2009 3:16 PM

  In reply to miranadobe

  BlackLabbie Joined on 01-27-2008 South of Boston Posts 3,380 Points 280	Re: Outrageous! Reply Contact They're very similar to these ^ but with a closed toe. -Stephanie Apollo- black Labrador Retriever Molson- buff American Cocker Spaniel Patty- black American Cocker Spaniel "Q: If you could choose what to come back as, what would it be? A: A dog, so my wife would love me more." -Oscar De La Renta
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